Monday, September 29, 2014

Top Ten Tuesday: A Book That Was Hard For Me To Read

Top Ten Tuesday is a weekly feature hosted by The Broke and the Bookish.

This week's topic is "Ten Books That Were Hard For You To Read". Well, my post will only have one book on the list. There was only one book that I couldn't read at first, ended up putting down, picked up again, took a break from and finally made it through. This is a very difficult post to write. It's very personal and I'm already crying. I couldn't talk about this and then add nine more books to the list just because that's what the meme is supposed to be. Please, bear with me.

So, the book that was very difficult for me to read was...

Yes, The Fault In Our Stars, that YA juggernaut that has everyone saying "Okay, Okay" and wearing nifty t-shirts from Hot Topic, makes my heart hurt. I finally did read it and it was a wonderful book, but I don't think it's the same for me as it is for almost everyone else. You see, TFiOS was released in January of 2012. At the time, a good friend of mine was going through treatment for a rare bone cancer (sarcoma). There was no way I could bring myself to pick this book up. My friend fought and fought and she always kept a positive attitude. Her bravery amazed me. She had moved away and I could only talk to her from afar, but there were nights that she would reach out when she was in so much pain and I did all I could to make her laugh or just be there to give her support. I stay up really late normally, so she knew that if she needed someone to talk to at 3am, I'd be there. Well, all of her fighting payed off. She won. She beat that nasty cancer...again. I was in awe of her. She was a warrior. She came to visit in June of 2012 and talked about how her mother wanted her to move back to the area so she could be closer to some really good doctors. Her response was that she wasn't sick anymore and wanted to move on with her life, even if she knew there would be a chance that the cancer could come back. She had a life where she was and she wanted to live it. Unfortunately, she didn't get that chance. It came back. It was more aggressive. It spread. Less than two months after I saw her laughing and smiling, she was gone. Gone. She left behind a beautiful son who, when I look at him, I see her in his face. She was a warrior. 

I found it difficult to even think about reading The Fault in Our Stars for quite a while. When I finally picked it up over a year later, I was able to finish it, but it was so hard. I had to put it down a few times. I still haven't seen the movie. I don't know if I'll be able to. When I read the book, I did cry for the characters and I DO believe it was a wonderful tribute by John Green to Esther Grace Earl, but it hit way too close to home. 

<3 Cheers, Nessa. I miss your face so much. <3

<3 Michelle


  1. Wow...I can totally understand how TFIOS would be so hard for you. Gosh, I'm so sorry for your friend, and that's absolutely devastating. I'm sorry. I can totally imagine reading TFIOS would be impossible. I probably wouldn't have read it. :|
    Here's my TTT!

  2. So brave of you to share with us your feelings. I'm really truly sorry about your friend, on the picture she seems like a person who was full of life. My grandmother died of cancer too but I was pretty young... still it was horrible to see how a few months after she was diagnosed she passed away.

  3. Hugs.
    There are some books that hit too close to home.

  4. Thank you for sharing that. I think shows great strength being able to do a post like this.

  5. I'm so sorry about your friend. It's part of the reason it's on my list too - a family member was going through treatment for ovarian cancer and there's just no way I wanted to read it. Just finished the book this summer and it's a beautiful book but very emotional.